Being a friend....

When I read Job 2:11~13, I could not help myself but ponder, "Am I really being a good friend to those around me? Do I have a friend who are like Job's friends?"

I wasn't really a good friend for many.

When I saw my friends in bad situation, I believed that I was being sympathetic with them at the moment. I thought that by coming up with solution together and be accountable was all there is to share sympathy with them. I was wrong, for I was never in their boots. It did hurt me deeply as my thought reached this point. How could I never really share any pain with any of my friends? I never truly mourn and be willing to cry with them before starting to analyze the situation when they are in sorrow. I am not saying that I didn't feel even a drop of sadness, but I am saying that I never really expressed how much I wanted to share the emotion with them. This is probably because of my personality that I do not like to show my emotion that makes me look weak. This probably applies to many guys who are especially grew up in Korean culture. To guys, weakness is only a weakness. We cannot use them as a strength like many other girls. Naturally, showing weak emotion is something hard to do for guys. However, the fact that I was never able to share the pain and sadness with my friends made me painful have stabbed into my heart.

Do I have friends like Job's friends? Hmm....I hope so.

Everything is decided...

MCAT is on July 8th. I'm taking 18 $#%#$(* credits in fall and spring so I can graduate by next spring. PJ is gonna be in doggy training class every saturday for next seven weeks. My aunt is coming from Korea for a month in May. I'll be on 2.5 weeks of vacation from July 29th to August 13th (Millal Camp + Millal Dream Camp(???) + FH retreat 2010). I'm going to take 3 credits over the winter. I'm hoping to go to Korea next summer. Wherever I go, either medical or graduate school, I'm gonna take a year break to either go to research or seminary.

So, that's my plan for next year or two. Blah.